DEBORAH M. PRUM

DEBORAH M. PRUM

WHAT? ME WORRY?

WHAT? ME WORRY?

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What? Me Worry?

I tend to worry. Frankly, these days we have a lot to worry about. To be honest, my worrying is not a new problem. During our wedding ceremony years ago, the pastor sprung an extra vow on me. He wanted me to promise that I’d never worry. I responded by stepping away from the altar. We have a photograph to prove it.

I’ve devised strategies to fend off worry, one of which is dancing. I’ve taken Nia, Zumba, Dance Fusion and Cardio Jam. I even took one Hip Hop class, which didn’t work out, mostly because of the sharp pains I felt in both knees when I attempted that low bouncy movement.

To be honest, I’m a bad dancer. That means all of my brain cells continually are focused on following the instructor, leaving no brain cells to engage in fretting. I’ve always believed I needed to stay in motion in order to keep my mind at rest. However, constant motion can be tiring. So, when a friend suggested that I try yoga, I thought I’d give it a go.

It wasn’t an instant fit. By class number two, I had to self-impose these guidelines:

  1. Don’t groan loudly every time you transition into a new pose. Groaning is a buzz kill for your classmates and often will alarm your teacher.
  2. Remember that your arms are short. So, when instructed to place your mat an “arm’s distance from your neighbor,” add six inches. Yoga is not a contact activity.
  3. Avoid making rude body noises. Don’t giggle when other people inadvertently make rude body noises.
  4. Don’t hum along to any background music that might be playing.
  5. Don’t sit near the incense because you can bet you will sneeze.
  6. Don’t keep looking at the clock; or, at least, don’t get caught looking at the clock.
  7. Avoid making eye contact with your neighbor during the downward facing dog pose because you know it will make you laugh.

At first, taking yoga felt difficult, but now I’ve started looking forward to class. Surprisingly, yoga has afforded me the same benefit as dancing. That is, in order to move into each yoga position I must focus intensely and be still. The end result? My mind and body experience blessed relief. I become engaged in the moment—a specific moment in time when I’m not fretting about the past nor am I obsessing about the future. I get to appreciate the sparkling gift of right now.

One day while I thought about this, a passage from the Bible floated into my mind: “And which of you by worrying can add a cubit to his height?” A cubit is about twenty-one inches. My lifetime of worrying definitely has not added twenty-one inches to my stature. In fact, if I’m being honest, I haven’t grown an inch since I turned twelve.

 

Worry is a useless activity. So, I hope to keep focusing on the joy I can experience when I am mindful of the gift of each moment.

Right now, another image is floating through my mind: the face of Alfred E. Neuman, the gap-toothed mascot of Mad Magazine, a periodical that guided me through my teenage years. Neuman always used to say, “What? Me worry?” Perhaps, over time, I’ll be able to say the same words and mean them.

(Photo by Jen Fariello)
Deborah Prum’s fiction has appeared in The Virginia Quarterly ReviewAcross the MarginStreetlight and other outlets. Her essays air on NPR member stations and have appeared in The Washington PostLadies Home Journal and Southern Living, as well as many other places. Check out her WEBSITE. Check out her DEVELOPMENTAL EDITING SERVICES. Check out her PAINTINGS

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