The Chinese philosopher, Lao Tzu, said, “A good traveler has no fixed plans and is not intent on arriving.” I prefer to plan a trip and arrive on time.

One day, I intended to leave Charlottesville mid-afternoon and get to Alexandria in time for an early dinner with my daughter-in-law. The train moseyed into Charlottesville an hour late. I boarded one car, but it seemed full.   So I headed to the next where I sat near a group of Amish people.

An hour into the trip, rain pelted down so hard I could barely see through the window. Minutes later, the train stopped. Next, an official announced that five trees had fallen on the tracks. He said it would take a while to clear them.

Immediately, my neighbors started speaking in Pennsylvania Dutch. No one seemed interested in talking to me, so I became profoundly bored.

After a while, they announced that they had opened the restaurant car, which meant people could buy alcoholic beverages. Folks streamed through our car to the dining car. I saw a young woman with a baby swaddled on her chest. She carried a glass of wine in each hand. “Yes, these are BOTH for me,” she said to a fellow traveler.

Later, a porter handed out a snack pack that included Cheddar Cheese Guppies, not Pepperidge Farm Goldfish, but its off brand twin. Possibly these were the snack fish that had been caught in the tuna nets? I am not a snack snob, so I gobbled them down, off brand or not. Unfortunately, the man right behind me started eating, too, which seemed to set off a burping/hiccupping reaction. At first, I felt sympathetic, but after a couple hours, not so much.

Finally, they announced the trees had been cleared. We cheered.

Our joy was short lived. We stopped at the next station, but doors did not open and no announcement came from the PA system. Instead, a distraught man rushed through our car, followed by train attendants. I heard the man say, “They should be thrown off the train!”

Then, we sat. No Wi-Fi, no phone service, no explanatory announcements, only the incessant sound of gastrointestinal distress from the man behind me. Oh yes, I forgot to mention that my seat was only two rows from the overflowing restrooms: the perfect storm of train hell. At one point, I knew we had to be in desperate straights because an official began distributing REAL, not imitation, Oreo cookies.

Around eleven, I found out that a fight had broken out in that car I’d initially entered. At least one combatant happened to be drunk and injured. We were waiting for emergency personnel to show up. Ultimately, I arrived in Alexandria well after one in the morning; too late for dinner and too early for breakfast.

When it comes to traveling, I have the luck of Jonah, that Old Testament guy who thought he was making a quick trip to Tarshish but wound up on a three-day detour, stewing in the belly of a whale. As for my trip, I spent seven hours stewing in the smelly belly of a train.

Back to Lao Tzu, the Chinese philosopher. Life will always turn out differently than you expect. The trick is to find joy in the adventure, which sometimes may mean embracing an off-brand Cheddar Guppy when it swims your way.