Looking for a good movie? Check out His Three Daughters. Just after its release, the film received a 99% approval score. I am one of the 99%. I watched it on a Monday, then again, a day later. That’s how much I liked it.

            Expertly written and directed by Azazel Jacobs, the film has a small, but outstanding cast. The oldest sister, Katie, played by Carrie Coons, is rigid and fierce—and that’s on her good days. The middle sister, Rachel, (Natasha Lyonne) is brash, tenderhearted, and can’t get through a sentence without including obscenities, even when she’s being affectionate. The youngest sister, Christina, (Elizabeth Olsen) is a lot younger than her siblings. She is an anxiously cheerful peacemaker. Her intention is to bring the family together but is unwilling or unable to honest about her own feelings.

            The three estranged sisters gather at their father’s NYC apartment as he lay dying.  Rachel shares the apartment with him and is the one who’s been taking care of him for a while. Katie resides in Brooklyn with her husband, son, and a teenage daughter, with whom she fights constantly. Christina lives on the West coast in a large house with her husband and three-year-old daughter.

At the beginning of the film, one of the characters observes that movies never portray death and dying accurately. Jacobs wrote the screenplay, including that line.  He must have decided that the movie he made would be an exception. And, it was. Based on my limited experience, this film was true to life. The screenplay managed to portray a credible combination of raw, painful scenes and dark humor that provided comic relief.

            The movie opens to Katie sitting in a straight-backed chair against a blank wall. In a clipped voice smoldering with fury, she speaks straight at the camera, dictating her expectations regarding the experience that lies ahead.  She decrees how her sisters should relate to each other and the protocol they all must follow as their father dies.

Katie works hard to convince herself that she can take control of an uncontrollable event. She obsesses over obtaining a do not resuscitate order, ostensibly to ensure that her father does not experience undue suffering. Yet, even after the DNR is in place, her rage and anxiety don’t diminish. Tragically, Katie is unaware of how her rigid, passive-aggressive behavior repels everyone.

            Katie and Christina don’t seem to keep in touch with Rachel, the one who’s borne the brunt of their father’s care. Despite Katie’s comments about wanting to get along, it’s a hot minute before she attacks Rachel for smoking pot in the apartment. Her words drip with contempt. Rachel doesn’t defend herself. Instead, from then on, she smokes on a bench, in the cold, outside her apartment.

            The sisters categorize and judge each other As a viewer, you will be inclined to do so, too. However, the beauty of this movie is in its exposition, how as we learn more, we see the characters in a new light.

            Each woman copes differently with their father’s dying. Katie makes irate calls about the DNR, scrubs floors, forces food on everyone, talks about the hospice staff in a snarky way, but doesn’t spend time interacting with her father. Rachel avoids her father’s room completely. Her grief consumes and paralyzes her. At one point, she stands in the doorway of her father’s room and shouts in the statistics of a basketball game she’s bet on. The father is either deeply asleep or unconscious. Christina spends the most time in her father’s room, reading to him or singing Grateful Dead songs. Both Rachel and Katie ridicule Christina for being a Deadhead.

            This movie nailed the tension between not wanting your loved one to die and at the same time, desperately wanting the horrible limbo state between life and death to end. Although Katie demands that a DNR be in place, when her father’s breathing becomes ragged, she tells her sisters to call an ambulance. After their father recovers from the breathing episode, the sisters rejoice, even though the day before, each in her own way, seemed to be more than ready for their father to pass.

The acting in this movie is brilliant. Jacobs pays meticulous attention to detail. The micro expressions on each women’s face–rolled eyes, slightly raised eyebrow, turned head—all communicate volumes.

The fight scenes are orchestrated masterfully. Most of them consist of restrained passive-aggressive exchanges. But near the end, all three women explode in anger and their interactions become physical, which shocks them.

I found the ending unexpected and moving. Seeing it helped me reconceptualize specific events in my own life.

His Three Daughters is a compelling treatment of death, grief, and complicated family dynamics. Many people might find comfort and/or guidance from it, including those who are grieving and those who support the bereaved. I hope you consider viewing it.

If you are looking for more movie reviews, please check out Wicked Little Letters, The Wonderful Story of Harry Sugar, and The Last Repair Shop.