I am an expert in the field of rejection.  I stand before you today with exquisitely impressive rejection credentials.  I’ve been rejected by The New Yorker, The Atlantic Monthly, Ploughshares, a top children’s book agency in California, and my first grade boyfriend, Walter Flemke, may he rest in peace.

You may be asking yourself, why doesn’t that masochist choose another way to make a living? (Like gem polishing, belly dancing or pro basketball?)

Let me tell you why I keep writing.  Several years ago, I experienced an epiphany.  I was driving on a back road through the mountains of North Carolina.  In order to keep awake, I had the windows down and the radio blasting.  A song came on, with a line that went like this, “I’m jest hanging from the weakest limb of that twisted tree called love.”

Right then and there, I bonded with that song; it became my theme as a writer.  Deep in my heart I knew, no matter how many rejections I received, no matter how hard it was to hang from that weakest limb, I would keep writing because I loved to write.

I love words, words like pillgarlic, schmaltzy, prevaricate, and goober.  I love writing non-fiction—history, book reviews, essays.  As many of my friends and family members know, I have an opinion for every occasion and I am thrilled for opportunities to share those opinions.

I delight in writing fiction.  What bigger rush is there than creating characters and moving them around in an imaginary universe?  Where else can a person have that much control?  In real life, I can’t even get my boys to pick up their socks or lower the lid in the bathroom.

Regardless of how many rejections I receive, I’m passionate about writing.  Even if that weakest limb is about to break, I will still hang on.

The truth is that for every six or seven rejections that come in the mail, I receive one acceptance and that, so far, is enough to keep me in the business.

Unless you are a famous author, rejection is a fact of life.  The question is how do you survive rejection and keep writing.  And that’s the subject I will address over the next few minutes.

I’ve already made my first point.  Your best defense against the pain of rejection is to love what you are doing.  If you have zeal for writing, you can face those rejections far more easily.

Another point to consider is how you identify yourself.  Especially when you are starting out, you need to be settled that you are a writer, not that you are just a writer wannabe.  This is not as clear as it seems.  Doctors earn MD’s.  Lawyers earn JD’s.  Plumbers and hairdressers earn licenses.  What makes a writer a writer? Good question.

Why is this issue so important?  Many times, I’ll meet a person who says, “I think I am a writer, but I haven’t had that much published, so maybe I’m not a writer…” and they go on like that for a few minutes.  Well, when this person receives her first rejection, she collapses.  That’s the end of it.  She thinks, “You see, I am not really a writer.  I was just kidding myself.”  That is not helpful.  In order to survive rejection, you have to believe in yourself, embrace your identity as a writer and keep trying.

Another way to survive rejection is to know why you write and what you want to communicate.  There is a proverb that says “Without vision, the people perish.”  The same is true for us writers.  Without vision and a little passion mixed in, ultimately you will get buried by those rejections and you will perish.

Articulate that vision to yourself or others every once in a while.  This concept may seem a bit ethereal, so I’ll give you an example.  When I write short stories for adults, I try to make my writing to reflect my core belief that despite how horrible life can be, there is always hope.   I’d like people to see that you can find humor and redemption in the midst of the ashes.  Somehow, having this goal, this vision, gives me the endurance to keep sending out the stories.

Okay, the bottom line here is even though you have passion, confidence in your identity as a writer, and all the vision in the world, if your writing isn’t any good, it’s likely to get rejected.  So, let me offer some practical advice:  make sure what you are sending out is terrific.  Make it the best you can possibly produce.   Don’t give those editors, publishers and agents any good reason to reject you.

One way to make your writing the best it can be is to get help from others.  For the most part, a person needs to be alone to write.  However, I find that if I don’t emerge from my little room every once in a while, I lose perspective on my material.  I miss the most obvious errors.

Invite other people to check your work.  These people should be smart, honest, and kind.  Let me tell you why all those characteristics are important.  You want somebody intelligent looking at your work, so they can tell you if you’re using a word incorrectly or that your plot makes no sense.  You want somebody honest, somebody who has the courage to be straight with you and not just make you feel good about yourself.  Finally, you want somebody who can be gracious and gentle while they are giving you their opinion.  You don’t want anyone extinguishing that little flame within you.  You can get this sort of feedback in many ways:  from other writer friends, in critique groups, at writers’ workshops and by hiring an editor.

As a writer, if you hope to survive rejection, you have to understand that you need to be in it for the long haul.  You have to think of the process as a marathon, not a sprint.  You can’t quit after getting rejected once or twice.  If you are convinced your work is good, you have to be persistent.

Before you send something out, develop a strategy for it.  Make a wish list of publications.  Figure out your criteria—high exposure, fat check—whatever.  After you make the list, staple it into the file folder for that piece.  Then, send it off to each place, one by one.  That way, when you receive a rejection in the mail, it is not so devastating.  You just send the manuscript to the next place on the list.

What can you learn from rejection? Most rejections come in the form of teeny tiny slips of paper that bluntly state “Your work is not right for our publication.”   However, every once in a while, an editor or agent will write a lengthy criticism of your work.  A novice writer may not recognize this as a wonderful thing.  But a veteran writer usually is thrilled to get those long rejection letters because it means that editor or agent cares enough about their writing to give a serious response.

So, if you are lucky enough to receive a lengthy rejection, rejoice.  Pay attention to what that editor or agent tells you.  Decide whether they are right.  Ask your writing colleagues what they think.  If you believe the criticisms are valid, then make changes before you send it out again.  That agent or editor has done you a big favor.

On the other hand, keep this in mind: the person who giving you a negative opinion about your work could be dead wrong.  For example, this is from an editor at Athenaeum to Herman Melville and it’s about Moby Dick.  The editor states  “…(the book) is an ill-compounded mixture of romance and matter of fact…(it is) trash belonging to the worst school of Bedlam literature….”

Okay, on the other other hand, sometimes all those rejecting editors and agents may be right.  The best place for that particular manuscript is in a dusty box down in your basement.

How do you determine when is it time to lick your wounds and move on?  That is a tough question.  Sometimes, you run out of places to send a piece.  Then, there is the question of timeliness.  If it takes too long to place an article or essay, the topic may no longer be timely.  I try to keep a balance.  I want to make sure that I keep writing new material.  If marketing one piece gobbles up too much of my time, I put the manuscript aside.

So, how does a writer survive rejection?  Don’t second guess yourself.  Go ahead and call yourself a writer, then believe what you say.  Identify your vision and let that vision inspire and energize your efforts.  Surround yourself with wonderful colleagues:  help them produce their very best work and allow them to help you produce your very best work.  Develop a strategy for sending out your manuscripts.  Glean valuable advice from those rejections.

I’m going to sound like Jesse Jackson here, but remember this saying:  Your passion for the profession will be the best protection against rejection.  As a writer, hang on to the weakest limb of that twisted tree called love.